Protect Your Purity: Four Keys to Guarding Your Heart

Helping Youth Choose Sexual Purity
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You do not have to watch that movie.

5 Ways to Guard Your Heart

You can turn it off, walk out, go in the other room. Satan is an expert at telling lies, and he tells them smoothly and convincingly.

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Many young people end up angry and bitter at themselves and others because they bought the lie, the relationship is ruined and now they are paying the price. Satan is a liar, but Jesus is the truth and the truth-teller John Identify and meditate on the truths Christ tells you. Identify and reject the lies Satan tells you. Good or bad, you will always reap what you sow—you will always harvest the consequences of your choices. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Likewise, God has set up spiritual laws that govern the universe, including laws concerning our sexual behavior. If we break his commandments, ultimately we get broken. Scripture teaches two basic alternatives in life, the way of God and the way of men, the way of holiness and the way of sin. Proverbs speaks of the path of wisdom and the path of foolishness, and calls upon us to make right choices, which are also wise, and avoid wrong choices, which are also foolish.

After laying out the blessings of obedience and the curses of disobedience, God said,. The lifelong consequences of sexual impurity are worse than we can imagine. The lifelong rewards of sexual purity are greater than we can imagine. Much sexual temptation today is created by our social practice of coupling and isolating young people instead of doing what the Hebrew culture and many others have done—requiring that single people spend time together only in a context supervised by parents and other adults.

Four Steps to Navigating Life after Purity Culture

This structure of direct parental involvement and carefully overseen courtship has been the normal social structure; it is ours that is abnormal. This is especially true in a culture that distorts teen sex, making it look romantic and healthy, when in fact it is usually unfulfilling, often emotionally devastating, and always morally wrong.

Many people think that to be normal you have to date. With the upside comes the downside of definite risks and temptations. You can enjoy fun positive friendships with people of the opposite sex and be involved in all sorts of activities without coupling up with one person. If you do choose to date, the following guidelines can help you maintain a walk with God and guard your purity.

Dating is the path to marriage. You will not marry every person you date. But the person you marry will be someone you dated. Therefore every date is a potential mate. The closer the relationship the greater the danger. Far too much is at risk. If that seems an unfair comparison to dating an unbeliever, reread 2 Corinthians More young men and women are derailed from their walk with Christ by dating nonbelievers than anything else. The longer you allow a relationship to go on with a nonbeliever, the more cloudy your judgment will become and the more likely you will commit immorality and turn your back on the Lord in other ways.

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Convictions waver when we place ourselves in the realm of temptation. There is only one way to be sure you do not marry an unbeliever: never date an unbeliever. It is necessary to date only Christians, but it is not sufficient. Many Christians lack moral fiber, convictions, maturity, and discipline.

The Battle for Your Mind

But do expect character and godliness. This assumes that you yourself are a growing Christian, that you are developing a strong character and strong convictions.

The first key is being the right person, the second key is dating the right person. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. Appearances change over time. But even in the short-run, a person who looks great at first glance but who lacks character and depth quickly becomes less attractive. A person with strong character quickly becomes more attractive. When we judge people by their appearances, often we turn out to be dead wrong—and meanwhile we may have made foolish choices. Realize Christ is watching and is with you all evening—wherever you go and whatever you do.

He is watching you because he is omniscient. Shall I then take the members of Christ and join them to a prostitute or anyone else in an immoral action? Since the Holy Spirit of God is within us, when we do evil with our bodies we bring God himself to the evil with us. This should be an unthinkable blasphemy for any Christian. When we put ourselves in a godly atmosphere with godly people, we are influenced toward godliness.

3 Habits of a Healthy Heart - Pastor Steven Furtick

When we put ourselves in an ungodly atmosphere with ungodly people we are influenced toward ungodliness. Have nothing to do with them. If a Christ-centered and positive relationship develops, then you might move to cautious displays of affection such as hand-holding. But be alert to the difference between appropriate affection and intimacy. You must stay safely back from the line where either one is propelled toward sexual intimacy. This person may end up being a lifelong friend, or married to your best friend.

Dating is a time to explore minds and souls, not bodies. Treat your date as a subject to listen to and understand and appreciate, not an object to experiment with, conquer or satisfy your desires. Pace your relationship. A car moving too fast is likely to swerve out of control when it hits a slick spot. Keep your foot near the brake. Gaps always get filled, often with temptations to sexual impurity. You can still have a private conversation even in a room full of people.

But their presence will encourage you to focus on the conversation rather than on temptation to impurity. Setups include such things as being alone on a couch or in a car late at night or in a bedroom. Learn not to trust yourself too much. In the moment of strength, make decisions that will avoid temptation in the moment of weakness. This should be a committed brother or sister in Christ, usually the same gender as you. It should be someone who takes sexual purity seriously, someone with wise advice, who will pray for you and help hold you accountable to high standards.

Parents should talk openly with their children involved in dating relationships. We all need someone to be honest with us. Did you honor the Lord? Did you maintain your purity? Commit the evening or day in advance to the Lord. Ask him to be pleased in everything you do. Plan to pray at the end of the date to thank him for the evening.

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If you know this prayer is coming, it will help you to be sure to control yourself and please God. Imagine your parents and church leaders are watching you through the window. Would that change how you behave? God is omniscient and omnipresent. He is the Audience of One:. Where can I flee from your presence.

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. In temptation our theology becomes very cloudy. The truth is, there is no such thing as a private moment.